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Processing Feedback
by Joni B. Cole
Here is what most writers forget. You are the boss of your own
story. Not the other writers in your critique group. Not the famous
author whose workshop you were lucky enough to get into at the Iowa
Summer Writing Festival. Not even your mother-in-law who comes into
your house while you are at work and vacuums the mattresses because
somebody has to protect her grandchildren from dust mites. When it
comes to applying feedback, you -- and only you -- are the one who
gets to determine what stays and what goes in your story. And that
is a good thing.
So why do so most writers forget this fact? Why do most of us, when
confronted with feedback, automatically relinquish authorial
control and start scribbling copious notes all over our manuscripts
like some junior intern on Red Bull, determined to meet everyone's
demands? "Yes sir, I'll rewrite the whole novel in first person and
add more sex scenes, no problem..." "No ma'am, I don't need to kill
off the grandfather in the end; I thought he was a nice guy,
too..." "Yes sir, I'm sure my memoir would sell better if I was
raised in a Chinese orphanage. I'll get on it right away."
When processing feedback, most of us need assertiveness training,
if not for the sake of our stories then for our mental health. For
one thing, you will never be able to please everybody. Newton's
third principle of motion explains that for every action there is
an equal and opposite reaction, and any given writing workshop
underscores this same reality. For instance, if your well-respected
writing instructor hates the scene depicting your main character's
long bus trip to Reno, it is inevitable that another respected
feedback provider in that very same workshop -- likely the graphic
novelist/performance artist whom you have had a crush on since day
one -- will drill his tortured eyes into your soul and insist that
the long bus trip is the one part of your story that rocked his
world. So now what do you do?
There is only one thing you can do. When processing feedback, you
must plant yourself figuratively in the corner office, plunk down
one of those massive paperweights on your desk that reads "Head
Cheese," and claim creative control. Because if you don't, whenever
you sit down to revise your work you are likely to start
second-guessing and compromising and rewriting by committee, until
your story starts to read more like word salad than impassioned,
polished prose.
Acknowledging that you are the boss of your own story makes
processing feedback a lot more palatable, even when you are in the
hot seat. Who doesn't have a silent meltdown when their writing is
up for review by a trusted reader or writing workshop? I know when
the time comes for my work to be critiqued, I always have a strong
urge to toss back a few in the powder room, if only to stop the
soundtrack in my head. They're gonna hate it, I know they're gonna
hate it... Oh, I can already hear the workshop star, Roberta, with
her usual refrain, "Kill your darlings..."(which she keeps
attributing to Mark Twain). And Lars with that weary note of
resignation in his voice, "It doesn't matter if it really happened,
you have to make it convincing on the page," and Marilyn throwing
her fifty-thousand dollar advance in my face by telling me, "Add
more conflict. Only trouble is interesting."
But then I remind myself that I am the boss of my own story, so
there is really no need to get all worked up in my head. If someone
does trash my work -- "Well, this is a sorry excuse for a story" --
I can and should hold that person accountable. "What exactly do you
mean by 'sorry excuse'? What part was sorry? Why was it sorry?"
Like any good boss, I should strive to be inclusive, encouraging
all my readers to speak up and be forthright. I can listen to their
comments with equanimity, even appreciation, knowing that soon I
will return to my corner office, shut the door on the cacophony,
and continue to process all feedback on my own time, and in my own
way.
Over the years, I have calculated that feedback on any given piece
of writing always falls into one of three categories, and breaks
down into the following percentages: 14 percent of feedback is
dead-on; 18 percent is from another planet; and 68 percent falls
somewhere in between. I am not a statistician (actually, I am
hopeless in math), but I find it reassuring to know that there is
an element of predictability to the art of processing feedback.
Dead-on feedback is the kind of feedback that feels right the
moment you hear it, usually because it confirms something you
already knew on a gut level. Oh, yeah, you think when you hear
dead-on feedback, now I remember not liking that passage myself,
but I was having such a good writing day I just kept going and
forgot all about it. Dead-on feedback is also the kind of feedback
that can lead to those wonderful Aha! moments. For example, a
reader might tell you that he isn't hooked by your story until the
scene on page eight when the surgeon amputates the wrong leg (as
opposed to the long-winded summary of the protagonist's medical
school education outlined in the first seven pages). For weeks, you
had been struggling with those opening pages, trying and failing to
get them right. Now, just like Archimedes in the bathtub, you see
the solution all at once. Cut the opening! Cut the opening! It only
gets in the way. Processing dead-on feedback is easy because a
small region of your brain -- the right hemisphere anterior
superior temporal gyrus -- flashes you the instant message: Eureka!
The 18 percent of feedback from another planet is also relatively
easy to process, once you catch on to the fact that the feedback
provider has issues. See how long it takes you to figure out where
this feedback provider is coming from: "I think your main character
should kill off her boyfriend. Why? Because men are pigs! All men
are pigs! They're born pigs, they die pigs, and in between they
give you a promise ring on Valentine's Day, but then they make out
with your ex-best friend Sheena at Happy Hour two Fridays ago, and
I know this for a fact because my new best friend Heather saw the
whole thing while I was out in the parking lot throwing up after we
did all those two-shots-for-two-dollars..." Feedback from another
planet should be discounted for obvious reasons, but make sure you
don't discount the feedback provider along with it. She may
surprise you when critiquing your next story.
Which brings me to the remaining 68 percent of feedback, which
falls somewhere in between dead-on feedback and feedback from
another planet. This category of feedback may include a timid
suggestion that speaks volumes about a weakness in your plot. It
may include a brilliant insight that ends up being wrong for your
current story, but will certainly apply to another story down the
road. Or it may include a blunt comment that raises your hackles,
but also the level of your prose.
One of the first things to look for when processing in-between
feedback is a consensus of opinion. Say you present your work to
two or three trusted readers or members of a critique group, and
more than one of them found your ending confusing -- Did the father
reconcile with his teenage son or didn't he? If your intention is
to clearly show a reconciliation then you should pay particular
attention to any type of collective opinion. This doesn't mean you
should automatically change your ending, but it does mean you
should scrutinize your motives if you don't change it. Are you
preserving the ending because you really think it works and is
perfect as is, or because you are being lazy or overly attached to
the writing?
Now take the same story, but a different scenario. Let's assume
half your readers "got" the ending, but the other half didn't
understand your intent. If this is the case, first you should feel
good about batting five hundred. Then you should take the time to
process the feedback of your excluded readers more carefully, just
in case they offer any insights about how you might tweak or revise
the ending to make it more accessible to a broader audience. For
instance, Darla, the romance writer in the group, offered the
following feedback, "If you want to make it clear that the father
and son reconcile at the end of your story, why don't you just have
them hug in the last scene?"
Your knee-jerk reaction to Darla's feedback may be to dismiss it
outright because Darla writes genre fiction and you are a snob. But
part of processing feedback is getting over yourself, as well as
recognizing that sometimes feedback can be wrong in the
particulars, but right overall.
Okay, so the father in your story is not a hugger. But what if he
did show some outward sign of love for his son at the end? What if
he offered the boy his prized pen-knife, for example, the one that
his own father gave him when he left home as a teenager? Now that
would maintain the integrity of the father's character, add a
wonderful symbolic gesture, and clarify the ending for more
readers.
One of the biggest mistakes writers can make when processing
feedback is to categorize readers too quickly -- good reader, bad
reader -- and to do the same with their comments -- good advice; bad
advice. Sixty-eight percent of the time, that's not how feedback
works. As writers, we have to be vigilant to fight the impulse to
accept or ignore feedback wholesale. Just recently, someone gave me
some heavy-handed advice that I thought was totally ridiculous,
until I took the time to scale it down in service to my story.
Processing feedback effectively means being receptive to hearing a
variety of opinions, but filtering it all through your own writerly
lens. What serves your intent? What rings true? What is your own
inner voice telling you to do? Sometimes it can be hard to tune in
to your own instincts after a feedback session, especially when the
comments have been coming at you like the arrows flying at St.
Sebastian. But that is when you need to hightail it to your corner
office and rest your cheek on the cool weight of your Head Cheese
paperweight. Breathe. Give yourself some space and quiet.
Listen carefully and I promise you, your inner voice will speak up
over time. And here is what it will tell you: 1 percent of the
feedback feels dead-on. Eighteen percent is from another planet.
And 68 percent feels like Darla, coming at you with good intentions
and arms outstretched. Just remember, Darla can comfort you, or she
can squeeze you. As boss of your own story, it is up to you to
decide.
Tips for Processing Feedback
Be open: You can't begin to process feedback if you won't let it
in. I know how hard it is to curb the impulse to defend your work
against every little criticism, but try. If it helps, write a note
on your palm as a reminder -- Hush up! -- and refer to it whenever
you hear yourself going on and on. In a workshop setting, some
groups institute a "no talking" policy to prevent writers from
interrupting the critique, but I feel that's an extreme measure.
Writers should feel free to ask questions or raise issues that
inform the discussion.
Resist the urge to explain. A teacher I know who works with both
writers and actors once noted that if you tell a performer
something didn't work in his performance, he simply drops the line
or fixes it. Writers, conversely, have a natural impulse to explain
why they wrote something a certain way, or what they were trying to
do in the piece. As writers, we need to resist the urge to explain
because it gives feedback providers too much information, making it
harder for them to separate what is really coming across on the
page from what you have told them.
Little by little: It is easy to get overwhelmed when processing
feedback, especially if you try to take it in all at once. After a
feedback session, sift through all the comments once, but then put
them away and only worry about addressing one issue at a time. For
example, if a reader has told you that your plot is slow and your
main character seems shallow -- forget about the plot issue for the
time being and concentrate on character. Or focus on moving your
story forward, and worry about character development in the next
draft.
Ignore feedback until you are ready for it. If you are on a roll
with your writing, don't let feedback stop you. Some writers avoid
feedback until they have taken their work as far as they can on
their own. This makes sense if hearing feedback too soon interferes
with your own creative vision. But feedback can also serve you in
the midst of a productive period. The value of hearing feedback,
and then putting it in your mental lockbox as you push forward, is
that this allows your unconscious to quietly process the outside
information in a way that informs your writing in sync with your
instincts -- without slowing you down.
Try out the feedback. Sometimes the only way to judge feedback is
to play it out on the page where your own writerly instincts can
react to it. For example, if a trusted reader is adamant that your
first-person coming-of-age novel should be written in third person,
try writing a couple chapters this way. See for yourself what you
lose or gain. If several readers think that your main character
isn't likeable, write a scene inside or outside the story that
shows your protagonist doing something endearing. Whether you
ultimately use the scene or not, this is a great exercise in
character development. No writing is a waste of effort.
Give yourself time. If you are at a point in the revision process
where you can't tell whether you are making things better or worse,
stop! Move away from the computer with your hands in the air,
before you do any permanent damage. Take a break from writing, or
start something brand new. It is remarkable how a good night's
sleep or a short period away from the manuscript can restore
clarity, and help you process feedback in a way that leads to
enlightenment.
Related Articles:
- The Benefit of Critique Groups, by Michele Acker
-
http://www.writing-world.com/basics/groups.shtml
- Critiquing Poetry (Including Your Own), by Gwyneth Box
-
http://www.writing-world.com/poetry/crit.shtml
- Fundamentals of Fiction III: Critique Groups and Writing Groups, by Marg Gilks
-
http://www.writing-world.com/fiction/fiction03.shtml
- Giving and Receiving Critiques, by Dawn Copeman
-
http://www.writing-world.com/dawn/dawn09.shtml
- How Online Critiquing Can Help Your Writing, by Moira Allen
-
http://www.writing-world.com/basics/critique.shtml
- Critique Group Links and Information
- http://www.writing-world.com/links/critique.shtml
Copyright © 2006, 2012 Joni B. Cole
Excerpted from Toxic Feedback: Helping Writers Survive and Thrive,
by Joni B. Cole, 2006, University Press of New England, Lebanon,
NH.
This article may not be reprinted without the author's written permission.
Co-founder of the Writer's Center of White River Junction, Vermont,
Joni B. Cole is the author of Toxic Feedback: Helping Writers Survive and Thrive. She is a frequent speaker at writing
conferences around the country, a contributor to The Writer
magazine, and a regular blogger on ThirdAge.com. She is also the
author of Another Bad-Dog Book: Tales of Life, Love, and Neurotic
Human Behavior, a collection of 28 true-life tales that mingle low
moments with high comedy, and the creator of the three-volume This
Day series, including Water Cooler Diaries: Women across America
Share Their Day at Work. For more information, visit
http://www.jonibcole.com or contact Joni at jonibethcole at
gmail.com.
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